Tough Love

Different clients respond to different approaches!

Video Highlights from Assertiveness for Women

I recently offered a free two hour session on Assertiveness for Women. If you missed it, here are some highlights on video, and I think you'll find some very useful information. Check it out, and let me know how it works for you! (Don't worry--I'll be offering this again soon!)

Confidence for Men -- FREE EVENT! (NYC)

If you're in NYC Wednesday, July 7th, please come! http://www.meetup.com/Successwork/calendar/13884540/ Men's magazines and the Internet are full of advice on what to say and how to dress for confidence. But what works for one guy may not work for another. Are you overwhelmed by all of it? Want to find what works for you? Tired of that frustration? In this free session, we'll explore ways of looking at the situations you face in new ways, to give you new options for success. Believe it or not, you're probably already more confident than you think. We'll discover ways of finding your existing strengths and use that knowledge to build up and out, as well as building the new strengths that you need most. Be aware that this won't be a talky lecture. We'll be doing some transformative exercises in class that will help you make the changes you want right there! you'll leave feeling changed and be able to practice these techniques anytime you want for even better results! For more info, to ask questions and sign up: http://www.meetup.com/Successwork/calendar/13884540/

Would you shock the puppy?

What makes good people do evil things? Watch this excellent presentation by Philip Zimbardo, it's an hour & 48 minutes long and chock full of info. He originally achieved fame with the notorious Stamford Prison Experiment in the 70s, and more recently explored the minds of the soldiers who were prosecuted for what happened in Abu Gharib, which can be found in his new book "The Lucifer Effect." http://forum-network.org/lecture/lucifer-effect-how-good-people-turn-evil

Do you believe me?

I'm often asked why I don't add more footnotes to my articles. The reason is-- I don't (necessarily) want you to believe me! It's common for academic documents to back up their position with a plethora of footnotes to verify the author's hypothesis. My articles are strictly from my point of view and based on my experiences, and I feel that my conclusions are valid. But I'm sharing them to inspire you to think about and experiment with these subjects. It's great if, after you read these, you come to the same conclusions that I do. Nevertheless, I always say: do your own research and come to your own conclusions! If, at the end of it all, you come to the same results I do, I'd love to hear about it. If you find I'm full of hooey, let me know about that too!

Why you should learn about Learned Helplessness

"Learned helplessness—it’s not really a term that you hear used in NLP or hypnosis, rather it’s from the realm of psychology, and like so many psychological terms, bastardized versions have found their way into common everyday conversations. Still, it’s a very important mechanism, and understanding learned helplessness will go far towards understanding what makes people behave in the ways they do. In everyday use, you might hear phrases like: “my room-mate is such a slob. He won’t do a bit of housework unless I really push him—he’s a real case of learned helplessness.” Well, it’s certain he’s a slob, and while the person doing the talking is referring to his inability towards independent housework, whether or not it’s the result of “learned helplessness” is arguable." --Ever wonder why some people get "blocked" in life? --have you tried to figure out why some people will wallow in miserable situations when you can plainly see they have a way out? --Ever wonder why you sometimes put your mind on a goal and the harder you work to achieve it the harder it is to achieve? --Why some people keep falling back into the same old rut? --Have you ever been curious if Jeff was any good at baseball? Read this short discussion of Learned Helplessness and find the answers to these questions and more! Read it online or download it here: Learned Helplessness

Am I being hypnotized against my will?!

Have you ever been afraid that someone was trying to hypnotize you without your knowing it? When I go to parties, invariably someone will identify me as "the hypnotist." The response that gets from people is either curiosity or fear. Sure, there are a million ways of influencing a person covertly, better ways than classical hypnosis, but what the uninformed person wonders is whether their free will can be controlled by another person. After all, in the movies, we see a simple post-hypnotic suggestion turning Woody Allen into a zombie cat burglar (Curse of the Jade Scorpion). We see Dracula turning people into slaves with the power of his mind, Rasputin commanding the royal family of Russia with his evil stare alone. The information that most people have is that hypnosis can enslave and zombify, and no one is safe. As hypnotists, when confronted by a fear of hypnosis, we jump to reassure the person, usually by saying something like: "There's nothing to be afraid of...all hypnosis is really self-hypnosis...you're totally aware the entire time...your secrets are safe...it's just like reading a fascinating book/watching your favourite movie/daydreaming..." And all of that is perfectly true. But it's as if we're jumping to defend ourselves, we're not quite addressing the question: "can I be hypnotized without knowing it?" Well, I decided to take the bull by the horns and address the question directly. Can I be hypnotized without knowing it? In the most recent PDF, I've put together the way I know of that can influence people hypnotically and how a person might know if such methods might be used on them. How do I know if I’m being hypnotized against my will?