The Easiest Embedded Commands

They say, "before you begin to learn Zen, the trees are trees and the flowers are flowers. Then you begin to learn Zen and the trees are no longer trees and the flowers no longer flowers. But when you've learned it all, once again, the trees are trees and the flowers, flowers. I don't know much about Zen, but I do know a little NLP, and I know that saying is very true for NLP. For example, once upon a time, a greeting was a greeting, and I never thought twice about it. Then I began to learn NLP, and everything became an opportunity to practice a skill, greetings included. The only difference is that with NLP, even after greetings become greetings again, they're still opportunities to practice. Here are two that I had fun with, and I think you will too. For decades, I'd pass coworkers in the halls at the places I worked and they'd absently say "How are you," to acknowledge my presence. If I was busy, or unmotivated, or in that office fugue-state that many of us spend our lives in, I'd absently respond "fine, thanks." That's how it goes in most places, and no one thinks twice about it, but it's a great opportunity that folks like us shouldn't let pass! Here are some ways you can use it to improve your skills, learn about consciousness, and brighten the day for the people around you. First one: I didn't like the numbness that infects offices and so, just as often, I'd respond with something like "too early to tell!" or "just terrible!" You can imagine that it stopped 'em cold. Invariably, they'd stop, and look up with a confused, blank stare. Of course I delivered the line with a big smile, and when they saw the smile, they got the joke, and it made them smile, too. What was going on? In NLP lingo this is a break state, a technique that breaks, momentarily, whatever mental state the other person happens to be in. See, no one ever asks "how are you" because they really want to know. It's just an automatic ritualized way to acknowledge another's presence. Since it is a ritual, there's also a ritualized response, "fine, thanks," and as long as the the expected response is given, the pattern is completed with very little conscious awareness. When you give an unexpected, non-ritualized response, it disrupts the expected pattern, and the person who initiated the sequence is suddenly brought totally into the moment. That's why they stop and look up at you: they need more data so they can adapt their pattern and complete it. This process is instantaneous, and mostly unconscious (instantaneous responses are usually mostly unconscious responses). As soon as they look at you they get the data they need: your radiant smile! It's not the expected response, but still gives them input they need to complete the pattern and get on with their day. The difference is that you've brought their awareness fully into the present, if only for a moment, and in that moment, your smile has also embedded a suggestion for happiness into their psyche. Cool, huh? Here's another: When they say/ask "how are you" look 'em in the eye and respond "Feeling fantastic!" Have a warm smile and exaggerated tonality, so you're really projecting "feeling fantastic" with your voice, too. What's happening: Again, they initiate the ritual pattern with their greeting. You respond using direct but natural eye contact as you say "feeling fantastic!" Notice you DON'T say "I'm feeling fantastic." Rather you want to issue the command to feel fantastic, in a way that should elicit (bring up) feeling really good. It's almost a direct command, but it's embedded in the ritual context of the greeting. It's also issued at the same time as you make eye contact, so that their attention is split between two sensory inputs, and they're less conscious of either. Finally, as they're bringing up the feeling of fantastic-ness, they're looking right at you so the good feeling is anchored to you! It doesn't obviously have much impact at first, but will condition them to feel good when they see you! If the explanations make this all seem complicated, just ignore them, but please do the techniques and see what thay can do for you! Feel free to post your responses and questions! You can download this article here: Easy Embedded Command

Sizzling conversation now! (Conversational State Elicitation)

Make your conversations fascinating by using your subjects' own feelings! Plenty of exercises & experiments for you to go out and try. Don't take my word for it--it works! The Question, the Hook... Ever get stuck in a dry conversation that turned into a “job interview?” No feeling of connection, no enthusiasm, and you just couldn’t get that spark? Ever have a great story or a routine, but your audience was just unreceptive? No connection? People usually feel a connection when they’re both experiencing similar emotional states. Think about it. When someone “really gets into” a TV show they usually feel a connection with their favorite character. A great song makes someone feel a connection to the singer, and people in a theater can feel so connected to the hero that they forget where they are—as long as the emotional state is strong. Here’s a really easy little conversational technique to jumpstart the momentum. Read the whole thing by clicking here! (You'll be able to read it online, or download it as a PDF or word doc).

Unsinkable Anchors!

AN EASY INTRO TO THE OBSCURE ART OF ANCHORING Here’s a quick follow up to our last meet-up on the basic "how-to" of anchoring techniques. “Anchoring” is one of the most commonly found topics in NLP literature. It’s been studied and codified to the point that it seems like a very complicated and esoteric thing, and you can certainly make a study of it. But at it’s heart, it’s pretty easy. An anchor is a thing (a word, a touch a gesture or a sound) that triggers an emotion, a memory of a feeling. Did you ever hear a song on the radio that reminded you of a time, a place or a feeling form your past? Is there a food that reminds you of something from your past? Have you ever seen or heard anything that made you think or feel anything else? That’s what anchoring is all about. It’s simply creating an association in the subconscious mind. Read the whole thing by clicking here! (You'll be able to read it online, or download it as a PDF or word doc).